Compassion stemming from feelings of empathy develops more easily in some of us than others. But all children can grow in empathy and compassion for others.

What types of things help kids grow in empathy?

1.  Reminding them to stop and think about the feelings of others

2.  Teaching how others may feel in a situation

3.  Reading stories about people who are hurt and showing concern

My teenage and young adult children love to tease me because from the time they were 4 years old, every time I sent them off to a birthday party I would say, “Remember it’s his (or her) birthday, not yours. Your job is to help him (or her) have a good birthday.”  They now parrot this back to me whenever I attend a birthday party.

It is important that empathy is not always about putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes. We all have different personalities and temperaments and what makes one person very sad may not make another person sad at all. So when your child sees someone crying, teach him/​​her we care and have concern for those hurting whether or not we would feel the same way in that situation. Children who lack empathy often think because that would not hurt my feelings, it should not hurt others, either.

How do we teach kids to move from empathy to actions of compassion?

1.   Help them see each act of kindness we do for another person makes a difference.

2.   People have worth and dignity and a simple act that makes someone’s day a little brighter, makes someone’s night a little warmer, fills a hungry stomach, or just brings a smile to a face is an important act of compassion.

3.   Serve together as a family from the time your children are young.  Teach them serving others brings joy.

4.   Encourage your children to make a sacrifice of time, money, or toys to help someone else

5.   Help them to see each person, no matter how different they seem, as valuable because he/​​she is made in the image of God.

Karen Blankenbeckler is vice president for academic affairs at The Bear Creek School.