Laura Kastner, Ph.D., a nationally recognized expert on teen behavior, will present “Kids, Emotions and Active Problem-Solving in Families” from 7-9 p.m. Tuesday, March 16 at The Bear Creek School, 8905 208th Ave. NE in Redmond.

Tickets are $20 in advance, available at www.parentmap.com or 800-838-3006, or $25 at the door.

Kastner will use humor and wisdom to address common problems that arise before and during adolescence. She is a clinical associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington and has co-authored several books with Jennifer Wyatt, including “Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens,” “The Seven-Year Stretch: How Families Work Together to Grow Through Adolescence” and “The Launching Years: Strategies for Parenting from Senior Year to College Life.”

Kastner also maintains a private practice centered on children, couples and families.

In a phone interview with the Redmond Reporter, Kastner said her talk at The Bear Creek School, a non-denominatonal Christian school for grades K-12, will feature tips to help parents navigate the choppy waters of raising younger kids and teens in this increasingly complicated world.

“A new survey by the APA (American Psychological Association) not only shows kids are more stressed in general, but more stressed than even a year ago,” said Kastner. “They report having twice as much stress than their parents think they are having … and it’s worse than most parents even know. Parents need to have adequate empathy,” said Kastner.

In addition, “Parents need to be more proactive, not just wing it,” she said. “It’s no longer ‘I’ll go to some athletic events, check some homework, make some meals and call it a day.'”

In a recent Parent Map blog post, Kastner wrote a “Checklist for Parents of Tweens: A dozen do’s and don’ts” and said it’s something she’ll incorporate into her chat at The Bear Creek School.

The list includes such nuggets as “Control media and electronic use and avoid giving into excessive materialistic desires,” “Don’t let up on family dinner rituals,” and “Keep chores a priority — they are a vital preparation for life.”

Instilling values and expectations at an early age works wonders later, said Kastner.

“People say they love their babies,” she explained. “I want to help people get in touch with how much they love those babies even when they’re getting squirrelly and messed-up,” which can begin as early as fifth or sixth grade, she said.

“We say our families are the most important thing, but prove it,” Kastner continued. “Parenting is no longer just about teaching job skills, but social and emotional skills, self-management.”

And when people tell her they’re sad because their kids are going away to college, Kastner informs them that she has “good news and bad news, because parenting is never over. … This generation has an elongated young adulthood.”

The dismal economy and job market have made it much harder for young people to move out on their own. Many won’t find their career path until age 25 or later. The average marriage age is now 25 for females and 28 for males, she noted.

“More than half of college grads now are at home. Parents have to learn how to have them help out, not treat it like a hotel,” said Kastner.

At the same time, their young adult children still need a lot of love and moral support.

Tip number 12 on Kastner’s checklist for parents seems to sum it up:

“Build family resilience and spirituality by your own conduct and values. Life is composed of an endless series of problems and challenges to all of us. We develop a sense of purpose and integrity through our efforts to cope with adversity, meet challenges with compassion and demonstrate acceptance, optimism and commitment in our relationships.”

Patrick Carruth, Head of School at The Bear Creek School noted, “The Bear Creek School is excited to engage the Eastside in discussion of issues that are important to our community and to provide a venue for lectures like Dr. Laura Kastner’s upcoming presentation. We look forward to hearing her insights and learning from her, along with the community, on March 16.”